You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
