He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Randomize
