Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Randomize
