At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
just tell him i said nine months
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize