I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
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