i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
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