i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize