So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
Randomize
