I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
