Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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