Already got asked if we're dating
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
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We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
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Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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