Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
I need to sanitize my soul.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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