Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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