69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
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