just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
