so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
