I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
