White coat. Heels.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
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