How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I have diapers under my sink. trying to convince myself to use them.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
