...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
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