talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Randomize
