i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
