Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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