My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
