i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Couch. On fire.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
