love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Randomize
