Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
