My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Found your dick twin last night
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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