at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
