I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I'm both gender and math confused
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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