good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
don't judge my taste in strippers
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
Randomize
