HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Use "feeling words"
Yay
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
