I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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