I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize