I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Randomize
