Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
