I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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