This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
is wine microwaveable?
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
