paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
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