just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
