Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
