so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
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