I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
