the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
