tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize