I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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