I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
it's great music for shaving your balls
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Randomize