Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
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I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
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I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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