Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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