Say something about gay babies.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
