Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
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