I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
