47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
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