She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I take back everything I said about communal showers
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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