New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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