are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
I don't want my vagina anymore.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
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