wanna go halves on a baby?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Randomize
