call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
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The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I'm not sure what is worse, the fact that Hoffman doesn't sell vodka before 9am or that I was trying to buy vodka at 8:30am.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
that is very illegal...i love you.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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