Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
