so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
You're breaking my sexual little heart
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
